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In Narad bhakti sutra Gurudava explained this mudra very beautifully, he says Upper hand's mudra depicting “Wait, don’t be impatient” and lower hand is saying “I’m giving na!”. God says "Wait I'm giving". Here is an experience of my last two birthday's :-), enjoy...
June last year, I went to Banglore Ashram, two days before a program that I had to attend, to celebrate my birthday with Gurudev :-). I reached ashram on 15th, did my morning sadhana on 16th morning, dressed myself with a nicely washed and pressed Lucknow chiken kurta-paijama and reached the secretariat office (Kashchapa in front of Vishalakshi Mandap in Ashram) . Full of expectation, I sent an appointment request through Shabnam in secretariat “Guruji it’s my birthday today and I just want to be with you for sometime”. With a thought that I should get it (after all I’m a full time teacher doing so much service :-)), I was in waiting queue with other few 5-6 people on the pathway to Ganga kutir in Ashram. As my waiting had a touch of impatience into it, every time someone comes down from the pathway to the Kutir, I use to look at them with a hope. My hope started turning into disappointment as someone else use to get the call. This continued for around two hours and cumulative sum of disappointment was beyond my capacity :-).
With mind already started grumbling I went back to my room. Birthday celebration in evening satsang looked usual to me as many people went on the stage myself and Ujjal (another fulltime teacher who also has his birthday on the same day). Guruji did not even paid much attention and it went just like that :-). I started my next day applied my part-I course point (You can guess which one I should have applied :-)) , evening my mind got real clarity when Guruji shared in the satsang that “Agar main tum ko laat bhee maru aur tum phir bhee vaapas aao to tume Guru ke paas aana aya” (Even if you feel that I insulting you, I’m treating you badly and you still you come back to me, them only you have learn to come back to Guru).
This year June, I again happen to be in Ashram for an Advance and SriSri Yoga Teachers Training Course did not have any expectations or desire whatsoever on my birthday. I came to know that Guruji is meeting people in Badri Vishala in afternoon, I went in darshan line, had a very good darshan and little chat with Guruji. Shardaji from back shouted "Guruji, its Anurag’s and Ujjal’s birthday today". “Oh yes yes, we will celebrate.” Said Guruji. As Guruji prompted that, secretariat people allowed us to be I Ganga kutir with Guruji after darshan.
Few of us got to spend around few hours in Ganga kutir in His presence and you ask anyone who had experienced this, it is a lifetime experience. In the evening satsang, he pointed me and Ujjal in “Ha ha both of you come…”. And after cake cutting a group of teachers with us moved to the Ashram canteen for further celebration. And end of it, I was thinking this somewhat I desired last year and now I’m getting exactly in the same way. As I was thinking this, Abhishek a teacher from Rajasthan came running to me and said that Guruji has sent a message for you that he will you birthday gift tomorrow. Icing on the cake, more than what I expected. Next day more time with Him in kutir. He asked “Tumhari Jaroorat kaya hai” (What do you need?)”. Word came out of my mouth, “Guruji meri jaroorat to app hi ho” (You are my one and only need). He said “Oh mai to huin he naa…”, he came out with two kurtas. One for me and one for Ujjal. “Will it fit you?”. And this Kurta is made for my fitting, I love it!
And I was remebering "Wait I'm giving na..."
Love, Anurag